1. |
Blood on the tracks
04:02
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A white pillow of snow falling down on the ground
Engines roar and tires spin
Mother Nature always wins
Is it too late or is life just beginning?
A white pillow underneath my poor head in my hospital bed
I’ve said my prayers, washed away my sins
Mother Nature always wins
And there is no turning back
Once there is blood on the tracks
Because when somethings are broken
They can’t be put back again, the same way, again
One thousand fires, smoke rising up with planes atop
Families run and houses burn
But Mother Nature will return
Is it too late, will we ever learn?
One thousand fires and my body is aflame, unspeakable pain
Will I be healed, can her love be earned?
Can Mother Nature’s tide be turned?
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2. |
Broken-down Train
03:04
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How many times must I wake up with the feeling
Of being somewhere that I don’t want to be?
When every morning starts my heartrate is fast
And the pressure is dropping unexpectedly
How many problems must I wake up to today?
With no one beside me and with disease in my veins
How can I move when my body has stopped?
Like racing to nowhere on a broken down train
That never stops, but never moves
It holds you back while chasing you
How many people must I lie to today?
By wearing a smile borrowed from better days
Anyone would help, but they don’t know what to do
And I don’t know what to ask for, but I thank them anyway
So I go on my weary way, with my destination in view
Anywhere but here and preferably for two
How much for a ticket? My bank account is strained
Can I ride first class on this broken down train?
It never stops, it never stops
It never stops, it never stops
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3. |
Caregiver
03:18
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Back and forth between two worlds
A house of new beginnings and a place for final words
Back and forth, a mother and friend
Caring for her family, she’s like an elastic rubber band
Her heart is full
But she feels the pull
So much tension running through her
From head to toe
But you’d never know
By looking at her
That she can’t go any further
Her body aches
Her spirit shakes
Giving everything, everything she’s got
A saving grace
My breathing space
She gives everything, everything she’s got
Every day she comes to visit me here
Sometimes there is laughter and sometimes there are tears
She feels what I feel and she feels what she feels
But when she goes home at night she’s alone with her fears
Her heart is full
She’s beautiful
Her love is everything that I could ever ask for
But she can’t go on like this
With my sickness
Pulling her from here to there
It’s gonna snap her for sure
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4. |
The waiting room
03:42
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Broken back, tired lungs
Bloodshot eyes and a swollen tongue
Strapped to the bed, hooked up to machines
That wake me up from my dreams
- - burning skin
- - I need some oxygen
But body and mind, spirit or soul
I feel invincible, I feel invincible
When I’m waiting with you
For things to get on track
It’s so easy to pass the time
With something happy on our minds
When I’m waiting with you
Feels like nothing is holding us back
Cause we got all the time in the world
In these times when life’s absurd
My legs are weak, I can barely walk
And I’ve lost my voice, I have to whisper to talk
Stuck in a box of painful routines
Breathless and unseen
- - I’m too afraid to cry
Wondering am I gonna die?
But body and mind, spirit or soul
I feel invincible, I feel invincible
When I’m waiting with you
When I’m waiting with you
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5. |
summer hair
04:24
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When I was a child
I believed in endless possibilities
I could hardly contain my smile
Cause there was gold in the hills and great monsters at sea
I grew my hair out wild
And every summer at home felt like a new beginning
I’d run and play across miles
But always return for that autumn trimming
Oh, now my hair is falling out
And my strength is chopped in two
Oh, now my hair is falling out
I’m like Samson, freshly groomed
Nature’s greatest trial
I’ve been touched by the emperor of all maladies
My only hope in life now, survival
I’ve abandoned my dreams and childhood melodies
I’m not just sick, I’m tired
And I’m grieving the loss of the wind in my hair
The future for me, it looks dire
But I’ll try to hang onto that summer air
My summer hair grew past my shoulders
And fell across my eyes
It made it hard to see what was in front of me
Like the fact of getting older
While chasing pie in the sky
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6. |
Forever Yours
03:41
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Who’s gonna tuck you tightly?
Who’s gonna read to you nightly?
I’m worrying about what might be
If I’m not here for you always
Not even on your darkest days
If I’m not here to stay with you
Will you remember I held you?
I wish I could forever hold you
I tried so hard to hold on for you
Baby boy, how I’m sorry
That I couldn’t share with you my story
But you’re my single greatest glory
Oh, all of my heart and more
My heart’s forever yours
I only want to make you happy
But things in life can turn out sadly
Will I get to hear you say daddy?
Will you ever know my love for you?
Can you feel my love is with you?
My love will always be a part of you
I really don’t want to be missed
My only wish
Is for you to hold onto this kiss
Wherever you go from here
My dear
I may be gone but I’ll stay near
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7. |
Please don't say a word
03:58
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A sign of the times
In my personal history
Racing thoughts of fear
Of my own mortality
A sign of the times
In my unread biography
There’s too much noise to think
I need your silent company
Please don’t say a word
Just hold your breath for me
No, I couldn’t sleep last night
Too worried what might happen to me
No, I don’t want to talk about it
I just want your company
Please don’t go, please don’t go
Standing in the road
With no direction home
Everywhere I look
And everyplace I roam
Standing in the road
With blindfolded eyes
The sound is deafening
From the traffic rolling by
Please don’t say a word
There’s not a thing I haven’t heard
There’s not a day that goes by
There’s not a thing I haven’t tried
So, please just save your breath
Whatever might be on your chest
But please just stay with me, I need it desperately
Some quiet empathy
Don’t say a word
Please don’t say a word
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8. |
B+
03:27
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Everyone tells me
From neighbors to strangers
That it’s better to stay positive
When facing off with danger
But sometimes dark thoughts creep in
And they stick around much longer than they should
Dark thoughts creep in
And they can stick around much longer than is good
Should I just put these feelings away?
When what I’m feeling is not okay
I have lived through some heartache
And I’ve choked back some heavy tears
I have tried to stay positive
In the interest of running from my fears
But sometimes dark days settle in
That pull you down then spin you round and round
Dark days settle in
And they can pull you down and tie you to the ground
Should I just put these feelings away?
Or should I put my heart on display?
I have been through some heartache
I have been through some heartache
But this time I just might break
I have been through some heartache
I have been through some heartache
But this time I just might break
I’ve been through some darkness
And I see some ahead
I have lived through some dark thoughts
That wouldn’t leave my head
But I’m stronger at my weakest
When I cannot see through
And I’m brighter in the darkness
When I open up to you
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9. |
bitter taste
03:06
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Won’t you, stay with me?
I love the way you sing so sweetly
So, won’t you, stay a little while?
Just for one more melody and a smile
Am I awake or am I dreaming of this place?
I wish that all my dreams were about your beautiful face
And then all these bad memories
Would fade away like a bitter taste
I woke here, alone in bed
I couldn’t bear the loneliness, so I thought of you instead
You sang to me, a wordless lullaby
Half asleep and half alive, with two teary eyes
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10. |
Going Home
02:42
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In the darkness I looked around
Couldn’t see where I was going
I scraped my shoulder and I stubbed my toe
Then shuddered with fear from not knowing
Forward, forward, and forward
Never stopping to turn around
For familiar ground
On my own, far from home
So in the darkness I felt my way
Back to you and back to this home
My eyes were closed but my ears were open
Remembered the way in my bones
Forward, forward, and forward
I finally stopped to trace my steps
And faced all my regrets
Going home, going home
Going home, going home
Looking back I could hardly care
But in my heart I know what’s there
A place to hang my head at night
A place to breathe the morning light
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11. |
I Rise
01:43
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I rise and I wash and I begin to distract myself
It’s sacred, sacred, my daily routine
I sit here punching keys, always staring at the screen
It’s sacred, sacred, my daily routine
I stay up way too late then wish I had a time machine
It’s sacred, sacred, my daily routine
I rise and I wash and I begin to distract myself
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Steve Neville Guelph, Ontario
Steve Neville is a founding member of The Balconies. In 2021, he was diagnosed with leukemia, forcing him to be hospitalized. He has fought for his life in ICU, undergone chemotherapy and received a stem cell transplant. His debut album, "Off Track", focuses on emotional themes of cancer recovery. $2 from each album sale will be donated to the Canadian Cancer Society. ... more
Steve Neville recommends:
Mellow vibes on the guitar and soothing vocals with special surprising closer.
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The Nightmare Gosifur pt 3
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In Adrian Snood’s songs, soulful vocals and slow-moving alt-pop swirl together to create something distinctly moving.
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